HE'S NOT GAY!
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: There's a rumor going aorund that Draco's gay...But wait...that makes not sense. Hermione and Draco are dating. What is going on? ANd how does lavender not know Hermione's intials? Read and find out. A random, humorous, fluffy oneshot. Hermione's POV DMHG


Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series does not belong to me…Oh well.

A/N: DUUUUUUUUUDES. I haven't posted anything in forever! Sorry! I've been busy. And a bit lazy…Okay very lazy. I wrote this in my classes. I just kept putting off typing it up because I was lazy...It was soooooo much to type. –sigh- Whatever. Onto the fic…Well…Unless you just ignore the author's notes, because then you'd already be reading the fic…but then again, you wouldn't be reading the A/N so yo- Okay I'll shut up now. Hehe.

OH yeah! And a big thanks to asianangelgirl, kasplosion, and Neozeka for editing! Whoop! Yayz!

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Hermione's POV

I sucked on the tip of my quill out of habit and stared absentmindedly at the thick tome lying open in my lap. My eyes ran over the words, but yet, they didn't register in my brain. The jumbled words just ran through my head. "In one ear and out the other," as my dad used to say.

I groaned in frustration and slammed the book closed. I just couldn't concentrate. Yup, The Great Hermione Granger couldn't concentrate enough to study. No, the world wasn't ending…or at least…I don't think it was. With great effort, I picked up the heavy tome and placed it on my bedside table.

I shook my legs, in an effort to get the feeling back in them, for they were numb from the strenuous weight of the book. Once the blood started circulating again, I sat up on my bed, dangling my feet over the edge, listening to the sound of my feet hitting the hard wood of the bed frame. The hollow sound echoed throughout the dorm.

That was the only noise that I could hear, other than the sound of my quiet breathing. The abnormal silence irked me in such a way that my mind would not settle down. I was used to working with background sound. To work in silence was odd. It didn't seem natural.

Normally, Lavender and Parvati were chattering away with their useless gossip. Or Ron would be complaining about classes. Or Ginny would be moaning and groaning in a make out session with some random Ravenclaw. Or I would be with my boyfriend Draco in the Room of Requirement as he prattled on and on about his day. Or there would at least be the soft crackling of the common room fire accompanying me. Here, in the dorm…it was so quiet.

Sighing, I placed my feet on the floor. The soft, plush carpet felt comfortable under my toes. I gave a catlike stretch, yawning in the process. My limbs seemed tired and stressed. It was the pressure for the NEWTs. There were just a few more months until one of the most important tests of our lives.

My brain was too distracted to concentrate on anything today. There was no chance of getting any studying done. I glanced at the clock hung above Parvati's bed. 12:30 PM. Surely something was going on in the common room that could entertain me for a bit. At the very least, a game of chess with Ron, if he was even up at the moment…which he probably wasn't. After all, it was Saturday, and on Saturdays, Ron wouldn't get out of bed until 2.

I slipped on a pair of flip flops before heading over to the common room. As I shut the door of our dorm behind me, my ears were attacked by the sound of yelling and girly shrieks. My eye twitched in irritancy. _Who_ did _what_ now? Sometimes I resented my duty as the Head Girl. It meant that instead of leaving this dispute for Professor McGonagall to sort out, it would become my problem.

Upon reaching the staircase leading down to the common room, I was met by an…intriguing sight…

It seemed that all the girls in the Gryffindor Tower were in a state of distress. They were panicking, screaming, shrieking, and for some reason, they were glaring at the guys. The guys, on the other hand, were all either looking around in wonder and/or disgust, or smirking smugly to themselves.

My gaze swept over the room, my irritation growing as I watched. Out of the corner of the room, I noticed Harry sitting in his normal chair by the fireplace. He was clutching his stomach and laughing so hard that his face was red enough to rival Ron's hair.

My eye twitched as I stared at the chaos brewing beneath me. What the hell was going on? I stomped down the stairs, making sure that my annoyance radiated off me in a foreboding way. I got off the last step of the stairs and strolled to the middle of the common room. With a huff, I climbed onto a table and stood on it; the chaos continued, seemingly oblivious to my fuming entry.

I rolled my eyes in aggravation and grabbed my wand form my wand holster. "Sonorus," I hissed out from between my grinding teeth, pointing the wand at myself. I cleared my throat, hearing my projected voice sound through the room, only to be ignored. I cleared my throat again, louder this time, wincing as I realized how much I sounded similar to Umbridge. Once again, people took no notice of me and my coughing. I noticed that Harry, however, had started laughing even harder than before.

I sent a mild glare his way before yelling out "SHUT UP!"

Immediately, a tense silence hung in the air. Everyone's gaze was directed at me as they looked at me in a mixture of curiosity and fear; with mirth on Harry's part. I could practically hear the crickets chirping. "Now will somebody please tell me what has everyone in such disarray?" I questioned in an exasperated tone. About 50 different voices began their own different anecdotes, all talking at the same time.

My stern glare effectively caused them to clamp their mouths shut, zip them, lock them, and throw away the key. I looked over them all, and met eyes with Harry. He was smiling broadly, his eyes filled with silent laughter. My curiousity sparked. "Okay. Now will harry please tell me what is going on?"

Harry bit his lip, most likely to keep from breaking into another fit of laughter. Grinning, he announced, "Well apparently, Draco Malfoy is now gay." I raised an eyebrow. No wonder Harry was laughing. Both of us knew that Draco and I were dating, and there was no way that he'd be gay.

"Okay…And would anyone care to tell me how this rumor started?" I asked, pretending to be examining my nails. I sighed and rolled my eyes as Lavender jumped up. "Okay Lavender. Talk." I flicked some imaginary dirt out of my nails, nonchalantly.

Immediately, Lavender began her narration, "It's not a rumor! Malfoy really is gay! I intercepted this from his owl. It's a love letter and it's addressed to 'My one true hot stuff, HJG' There is only one person in this whole school with those initials and that is Harvey Jackson Gannon!"

Harry broke out into laughter again. I was so close to joining him. My own roommate didn't realize this was me…Wow talk about dense. I felt a tinge of sympathy for the poor Harvey kid who would suddenly be labeled as gay.

Not really so much sympathy for Draco. It was his own fault for sending me love letters, no matter how many times I said that I didn't want them. And through his own owl too…my boyfriend was a bit of an idiot….oh well…he was my idiot.

I confiscated the love letter from Lavender with my Head Girl authority. Turning around, I swept out of the room with the letter in my hand, heading straight for Draco and my meeting place…the Room of Requirement. The chaos probably resumed as the portrait door closed shut behind me, Harry still laughing in his chair.

In about 3 hours, everyone in Hogwarts would know the rumor, even the teachers (possibly all of Hogsmede too). By this time tomorrow, Draco would probably be accosted by countless gay guys asking him out and screaming, whining, crying girls, along with the whispers that would be sure to follow him at every step he took. See the trouble he gets himself into?! Oh well…not my problem.

I walked along, past the talking portraits and fidgeting suits of armor, until I reached the Room of Requirement, which usually served as Draco and my meeting place.

I strolled in to see Draco lying on a couch with his arm thrown over his face, his nose buried in the crook of his elbow. I walked up to the couch and crouched down next to my boyfriend. He didn't notice me, probably too lost in his thoughts. After a bit of debating to myself, my finger reached out and poked him in the ribs.

A laugh escaped my mouth as he jumped up, letting out a yell of astonishment. Then he sat up, grumbling a bit while rubbing his side. I laughed again before kissing his frown away. "So when were you going to tell me that you were gay?" I teased, a broad grin adorning my face.

Draco groaned, causing me to laugh again. "Uggh. This is the worst rumor ever! How could anyone think that I'm gay?!" He exclaimed, throwing up his arms in exasperation.

"Well first of all, you obsess over your hair and your looks. You go shopping every week. You send that love letter. Speaking about the letter, how could you be so stupid?! Now that poor Harvey kid-"

"Okay Hermione calm down. I get it. I get it. I shouldn't have done that. Blah blah bla. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. Yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. So now how do I convince the whole of Hogwarts that I'm not gay?"

I shrugged, "Just don't." I plopped down on the couch next to him.

His puzzled expression met mine, "What do you mean?" His eyebrow was raised as he looked at me.

"It'll fizz out, just like any other rumor."

"So you're okay with everyone thinking that your boyfriend is gay?"

"Yeah sure. There'll be less girls pursuing you and thus less competition for me." I smirked and pecked him on the cheek.

"Do you really think it'll fizz out?"

"The rumor about me and Harry being together fizzed out…not with any help form a certain someone either, thank you very much." I sent a mock glare his way, crossing my arms over my chest.

Draco had the decency to look embarrasses and guilty. "Yeah…Sorry about that…" He trailed off, not looking me in the eyes.

"Whatever. And anyways, soon there'll be a new announcement that will shock everyone so much, that everyone will forget about the rumor of you being gay," I commented offhandedly,

"Huh?"

"Oh…well Harry has a little something he wants to reveal…" I said mysteriously, thinking about Harry's announcement.

"Oh. Do you want to tell me?"

"No."

"Why not?" He pouted at me.

"It's none of your business."

"Fine then. Can you at least help me with my Charms homework?" He asked. I sighed and scooted closer to him, pulling his charms book into my lap.

DMHGXOXODMHG

"Draco, stop whining."

"But it's not fair! I'm not even gay and there are guys coming up to me and asking me out. It's creepy!" He pulled his hair in frustration.

I smirked. "Oh well, poor you."

"Did you know that Harvey kid actually came up to me? He was all like 'I'm sorry but I'm straight.' Can you believe the nerve of that kid?!" I laughed at Draco's enraged expression.

"Yes. I know. You already told me this like 3 times." I sighed, leaning back in my armchair. Draco crossed his arms across his chest and pouted.

"I can't believe your roommates actually didn't realize that the letter was to you! They are such idiots!" He exclaimed randomly. I rolled my eyes and reached over to a table, plucking my book off of it and turning it to the doggy-eared page.

"I can believe it. They are too gossipy. They jump to conclusions quickly," I commented, not looking up from my book.

Draco just sat back and grumbled. "Hmm I was thinking of a way to get rid of the gay rumor. And I was thinking…what if we come out?"

"you mean tell everyone about us?" I asked as I looked up form my book in surprise.

"Yeah…I mean the only reason we kept it a secret in the first place was because of Voldemort and the dangers of him finding out that I was a spy. But now, he's dead. So…" Draco trailed off, looking around awkwardly.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes. I think so." He nodded slowly, walking over to me.

"Okay then," I said as he sat down on the arm of my chair.

"Operation DIS is now in motion!" He exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air.

"DIS?" I rose my eyebrow.

"Draco is Straight."

"Ohhh…"

"Okay so let's do this huge thing where I would walk into the Great Hall and then you would-"

"How about we just make-out in front of everyone?"

"That works too. Do you wanna practice?" He pulled me into a kiss before I could even open my mouth to reply.

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A/N: This was soooooooooooo long. And yay! No Shakespeare references this time. LOL I loved the ending of this. It's cute…Oh and if you want to know what Harry's announcement will be, then keep checking my profile, because I'll have a oneshot about it soon. Anyway, I'll be quiet now.

Oh yeah. I wrote this because a certain reviewer of mine was getting on my nerves everytime that she reviewed saying that 'Draco sounds gay' in a fic. I think she knows who she is. And to her, all I want to say is, thanks for saing that, because you inspired an awesome fic. But don't say it anymore because it gets on my nerves. Please and Thank you.

Review please! Pretty please! Pretty pretty please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXO

Flame


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